Helper and Victim Mentality - Law of Attraction at Work
The Law of Attraction is at Work – Always
The one area I wasn’t radiating was Mindset Path alignment.
The Universe, in it’s entirety, is made of one thing – energy.
The Law of Attraction operates solely on this principle.
The attraction and repulsion of energies that we, as human beings, radiate are working every second of our lives.
Pay Attention!
I’ve used the Law of Attraction in many parts of my life, including dating and relationships and admit the habit has severely slipped in recent years.
But why the admission now?
I’d Been Radiating The Wrong Stuff!
I’ve spoken to many people, over the years, in using a mindmap or a list to crystalise the qualities of the people they desire in their lives.
I used these same techniques in the ‘dating game’ after my 26 year marriage to Vicki ended and was surprised by the effectiveness.
The Admission Though?
Well, check out my recent Intrinsic Value post to discover back then (and now), I valued and radiated my value as Helper of People.
While my Ideal Partner list had my radar tuned into qualities such as:
- Similar Likes
- Desired physical attributes
- Mental processes
- Emotional characteristics
- and Spiritual Understandings
The one crucial area in what I wasn’t radiating and everyone needs to factor in:
- Mindset Path
- Wanting to walk with me. Not front or behind but WITH me
But Opposites Attract As Well
Importantly, there’s another piece to the puzzle to.
Opposites also attract which has nothing to do with what I’m radiating.
It’s an area of discernment which I’ve been oblivious to or chosen to ignore, I’m not sure which.
I was becoming aware of how I could be hurt by my transparent honesty and openness, way back in December 2010 as well – d’oh!
The writing on the wall was always there, for me to see.
But it’s a learning I’ve needed to take on and am moving towards being grateful for, for that’s all I can do.
Be aware of this though.
Helper Focus Attracts a Victim Mentality
Wikipedia defines victim mentality as:
A victim mentality may manifest itself in a range of different behaviors or ways of thinking and talking:
- Blaming others for a situation that one has created oneself or significantly contributed to. Failing or being unwilling to take responsibility for one’s own actions or actions to which one has contributed or for taking action to ameliorate the situation.
- Ascribing non-existent negative intentions to other people (similar to paranoia).
- Believing that other people are generally or fundamentally luckier and happier (“Why me?”).
- Gaining short-term pleasure from feeling sorry for oneself or eliciting pity from others. Eliciting sympathy by telling exaggerated stories about bad deeds of other people (e.g. during gossip).
People with victim mentality may develop convincing and sophisticated arguments in support of such ideas, which they then use to convince themselves and others of their victim status.
People with victim mentality may also be generally:
- self-absorbed: unable or reluctant to consider a situation from the point of view of other people or to “walk a mile in their shoes”.
- defensive: In conversation, reading a non-existent negative intention into a neutral question and reacting with a corresponding accusation
- stubborn: tending to reject suggestions or constructive criticism from others who listen and care; unable or reluctant to implement the suggestions of others for one’s own benefit.
There’s a lot more at Wikipedia so if you radiate Helping energy, it will be worth your time in discovering the hidden attributes of those that will attract you (not the other way around)
Difficult Lessons and Gratitude
It’s been a tough couple of past months in coming to grips with lessons I needed to understand, rationalise, put behind me and, lastly, let go and be grateful for.
I’ve invested time and energy in visualisations, professional assistance, unbiased friends from around the world, crystals and Reiki Healing. The latter was the trigger I finally needed.
The Death in the Family and Release
On a final note, I choose to remember the most magical time of this relationship, for me, and acknowledge it’s death.
Remember the great time and to not mourn over the coffin.
Blessings and gratitude to the lessons and the learnings.
Black Obsidian crystal time is the next and final step in clearing.
Express your thoughts if you have any, in the comments below.